Within the bowels of our home lies an unnatural phenomenon. I don’t know why it has descended upon us, or its purpose within the realms of our household, but it’s been here now for decades and shows no signs of ever leaving. What is it? The self-filling dirty-washing basket!
No matter how often you empty the wicker beast of its soiled contents, it will be overflowing again next time you return to it. Just like a water butt in a Manchester garden, or a fish basket at the Sermon on the Mount.
I spend hours of my life sifting through its contents categorising coloureds, whites, woollens and delicates before offering them as a sacrifice to appease the big, metal monster in the utility room. Its jealous rival, who can’t resist a look-in, demands a go, heats them up and spits them out whilst necessitating that they are folded immediately, or forever tarnished with indelible creases that require another wash to remove. There may be only two of us in our household but, load for load, I reckon I could give a Chinese laundry a run for their money.
I am in awe of those who show no sign of being affected by this infestation. You know the type: the family who only do one or two wash loads a week…A WEEK?! (I can do more than this on an average day). And don’t have clothes suspended on hangers drying around the house looking like a party of shop mannequins have just abandoned them; or have every available free surface covered with those delicates that just have to be dried flat. Oh, to live in a house without the constant noise of a washer and dryer trundling away in the background. Luxury!
If I’m honest, this burden could possibly be as a result of my motto:
If it’s touched skin, it’s in!
The washing basket, that is. And this applies to clothes I may have only worn for a matter of minutes, for they have then been tainted with dead skin cells and the like. My Other Half has taken to hiding articles of clothing from me so he can get another day’s wear from them.
Such is my fascination with particular electrical white goods that I even did several wash loads on our last holiday, despite only being there for five days – well, I couldn’t turn my nose up at the chance to use the fantastically huge American style top load washer and dryer, could I?
So in light of all the evidence, I think my basket will continue to runneth over, and keep me busy for a long time to come.
Image credit: sabpols / 123RF Stock Photo